Why I'm not Ashamed
If you haven't seen the hash-tag "I'm not Ashamed", Check this profile out.
Instead of hiding away from a mental health illness, a twitter user has decided it is time to stand up. To allow us to come together instead of hiding our illness. To turn around to the world and announce "Yes, I have a mental illness...
...And I am not Ashamed".
Whilst I have been showing my support by adding the tags to my posts, I feel like I'm not getting the reason across. I can say I'm not ashamed. But unfortunately twitter limits the amount of characters we can write...So I don't get to give the full explanation.
This is Why I'm not ashamed:
1. Mental illness is, in fact, an illness.
This may sound like an echo of my previous post, but I feel like the world seems to forget it is an illness.
It's not a lifestyle choice.
It's not just a habit.
It's not the result of negativity.
I'm not ashamed because I know it is an illness.
2. I'm more concerned with my health then your "discomfort".
I think it is important to make sure you surround yourself with people who understand. They can say nothing and I can still feel comfortable around my friends.
So if I'm in the midst of a panic attack, I'm really not going to think about how uncomfortable you feel.
I'm thinking of the fact I'm experiencing tachycardia (fast heart beat).
I'm thinking of the fact my heart needs more oxygen, so I'm hyperventilating.
I'm thinking of the fact my windpipe is closing, so hyperventilating just produces a squeak.
I'm thinking about having to sit down before I collapse.
I'm basically persuading my body to slow down.
I'm not ashamed just because you feel uncomfortable.
In fact, I'm damn proud I can do all that in the midst of panic.
3. I'm a survivor.
(If someone can get Ed Sheeran to fall in love with me, that'd be great!)
Did you know that in 2014, the World Health Organisation found that someone dies from suicide every 40 seconds? I myself have lost a close friend to suicide. However, I don't believe in the expression "killing himself" because in my eyes, that's not what he did. The illness caused him to commit suicide. He was a strong man, a good guy and my best friend.
I'm not going to lie here...
It's terrifying to think he couldn't fight it. What chance do I have?
But that is what pushes me to keep going.
I want to be a mental health advocate.
I want to speak for those who feel they cannot be heard.
I want to make a difference to someone's life.
I may be fighting my personal battle, but I have stood up and joined the war.
Why should I be ashamed of that?!
4. I appreciate the little things.
(R.I.P to one of my biggest idols)
I have learnt to appreciate moments in life, not the material life.
I refuse to get caught in the undertow of society.
I cherish moments to the point it feels like I am surrounded by the feeling something gives me.
Growing up, I was your average council estate dole kid living with a single mum. We didn't have money for luxuries. I used to get 50p a week pocket money and I loved it. When I was 8, I saved up to get my mum and my step-mum a two pound rose each. I felt happy that I had made them happy.
My strongest memories from childhood are snuggling up on the sofa with my dad, climbing into bed with my mum after a nightmare and the time me and my brother built our first snowman.
None of them cost a thing, but to me they are priceless.
I'm not ashamed to still hold on to moments like that.
5. It's a part of me.
Can you change being asthmatic?
Can you change being diabetic?
Can you avoid getting old?
No? Okay...Get my point?
(Side note - If you sat thinking "but they're all biological illnesses, they can't just be stopped" then well done. You just got a clue)
I'm not ashamed of being me.
But these are the reasons I AM ashamed...
I'm ashamed I'm part of a world that has to explain themselves.
I'm ashamed that by 2016, I'm still judged for my illness.
I'm ashamed that people feel they have to hide away who they are.
I'm ashamed that people get bullied for their health.
I'm ashamed people will only worry about mental health when it affects their physical health.
I'm ashamed that the world isn't doing more to stop this.
I'm ashamed that so many lives are lost, and still there is stigma.
I'm ashamed that people exploit that vulnerability.
I'm ashamed that politicians use it to get votes.
I'm ashamed that this movement has to exist.
I'm ashamed that one day, I will have to face my grandchildren asking if it's true how people treat us.
I'm ashamed I live in a world where writing about this topic is necessary.
I'm ashamed that I have to write this post in order to get people to open their damn eyes.
So please, don't just say you support mental health. Show your support by raising awareness of this movement via:
Don't forget to add #Imnotashamed !
Other Links :
Support the Roller Derby Team - Team Crazy Legs
Celebration of Mental Health - Mad Pride
Online support free - 7 cups of tea
0 comments :