The reason I made the leap of faith (and why you should too)
Something that drives me crazy is how we follow what society sees as success instead of following our own goals. Society tells us that we need some form of education, a shiny career with a fancy office and a perfect family.
That is what society classes as being successful.
But why? We have freedom of speech, and I intend to use it. For too long I have been caught in the undertow of life and just followed what everyone has told me will make me happy...And as I look around I see so many people in jobs they don't like, staying in marriages that make both people miserable and paying to live in a house they hate.
I took a chance and came to Germany.
I don't know the language very well.
I have no qualifications that will get me far.
I have no friends.
So I bet you are wondering why I decided to up and leave?
I always thought I would eventually come to Germany. However, there was always something I felt needed to be done first. I needed to get some kind of career, I should have money saved up and I should be ready to settle down.
I wanted my life to go to plan...
My original plan was to complete University and then work for a few years to save up money and then move to Germany, hopefully with my partner. However, this time last year I was rushed to Intensive Care due to a serious bout of illness.
I came close to death...
A few months after my illness, I took up the sport of Roller Derby to help my fitness (and it's great fun!) However, I lasted a total of about 3 months till my doctor found I had a joint condition (EDS) which meant I would have to take it steady with exercise...
For anyone who plays Roller Derby...imagine slow paced training...doesn't really work...
The skates had to be hung up...
I also had to try and keep up working in the hospital for my degree. However, due to my strong painkillers, my dilemma was to work through the pain or take tablets but then be unable to work in the hospital. I tried to work through it and ended up damaging the ligaments in my knee, hips and ankles and was put on bed rest. Again, and again, and again.
I had to face the facts...
The last straw was when I lost my best friend to suicide. He was only 25 and a father to a little girl. And whilst I still grieve for him, *I have decided I will live for Jonny.* He would always tell me to do what made me happy, and I had come to the realisation life wouldn't work the plan I had and that life was too short to sit and wait for what I perceived to be the "perfect time".
In this day and age, no-one is going to hand me happiness.
I have to get out and grab it.
(Yes, I sometimes get called the hobbit. Short girl issues)
And so should you!
Imagine yourself silver haired sitting on that porch thinking about how your life has panned out. Do you really want to see yourself just working through life to meet other peoples standards?
End of the day, everyone's happiness is personal to them. Some people will want to reach that career peak, some will want to raise a happy family and some will strive for adventure. The only way to be successful is to define what would make YOU feel accomplished.
Think about your dreams, your hopes and your goals when you were slightly younger. Ask yourself why you didn't pursue them.
For me, I wanted to make a difference; I wanted to write, I wanted to dance, I wanted to sing.
So asking myself why I didn't pursue these ideas:
- I was too insignificant to make a difference.
- I never had the time to write as I was too busy trying to keep up with everyone
- I loved to dance, but I never wanted it to become something I would have to work for. I believe that would have taken away my enjoyment. My health wouldn't have coped anyway!
- My shower head loves me too much to share my singing voice!
But I realised I could change some things to make these childhood dreams an adulthood reality.
I have now started this blog.
And honestly, I know I will get criticism. I will never let it get to me because it is my accomplishment and it does not need to be defined by others. I always wanted to have others read my writing, so I'm making it happen.
I wanted to travel to a new country and have adventures. I moved to Germany with absolutely no plan of what to do once I was here. I am applying for any random job because I want to challenge myself to experience the unknown. I want to push my own boundaries so that when it is my time to leave the world, I can look back and say I made the most of my time.
So you do you.
If you want to pursue that idea of being an artist, go for it.
You want to try and backpack around Europe, do it.
You want to organise a flash mob, go ahead.
Be crazy even though everyone is staring.
Be impulsive even if people don't understand.
It is your life to control.
What are you waiting for?
You need no permission.
You just need to know what you want.
Once you know what it is you want, do it.
You have one shot at life.
Make it count.
Do what makes you happy!!!!
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